Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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