I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize