We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
