My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
