I hope my margaritas pass through security.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
