girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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