i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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