she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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