so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just want to make out with him forever
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
