Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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