i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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