You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
