There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
