I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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