I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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