Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize