he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
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I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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