They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
