So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
