i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
