I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
