I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
