You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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