If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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