dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
