so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
