can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
