Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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