Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
