My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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