I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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