Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
