Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
