It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
