I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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