she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
