we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
