Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I smell stomach acid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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