I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
