Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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