did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
