I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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