Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You may now shotgun with the bride
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
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