You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
