does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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