Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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