my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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