she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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