CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
