i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
