Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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