ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
