you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
