I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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